Young Malkin & Pappu Naukar were kidnapped & raped by robbers.

Malik to Naukar: Shakal Dekhi thi un logon ki?

Pappu Naukar: Bibi ji se pucho mujhe to ulta litaya hua tha !!!!!

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Grammar Teacher: Rahul sharaab Nahin Peeta Hai. Is sentence mein Rahul kya hai?

Pappu: Madam! Rahul chutiya hai…

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Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho.

Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj

Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.

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Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.

Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!

Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?

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Ek Church k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri sharan me aaye.

Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan me aaye.

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Banta: How do you say Topless in Urdu?

Santa: KHULE AAM…

Ek baar, Akbar ke darbar mein ek randi ne mujra kiya. Woh badi hi KANTEELI NACHANIYA thi.Itni zor se naachi ke sabke tatte short ho gaye.

Akbar bahut khush ho gaya. Usne randi ko kaha, “Jamnabai, bol tujhe kya inaam chahiye meri jaan? Sona-chandi, heere-moti,jaageer…. kya chahiye, bol.Agar teri kisise dushmani ho to bhi bataa de……uski behen chod di jayegi.”

Randi bahut khush hui muh maange inaam ki baat sunke.Par woh bahut hi bhenchod kism ki aurat thi. Uske gandu dimaag mein to kuch aur hi tha.

Woh Akbar se boli, “Jahanpanah, jaan ki salaamati mile to kuch arz

karoon”.

Akbar waise hi uske naach pe bahut senti tha.Woh bola, “Jo marzi

maang, Jamna darling.”

Randi boli,“Jahanpanah, mujhe aapki raajgadi pe tatti karni hai.”

Ek baar to Akbar ko samajh hi nahin aaya ki kya yeh randi BAWLI GAAND to nahin ho gayi? Lekin woh manaa bhi nahin kar sakta tha….promise jo kar diya tha. Usne randi ko kuch aur maangne ke liye kaha, par randi bhi bahut seasoned campaigner thi…. woh nahin maani. Akbar bhi bechara kya karta, usne 15 din baad ki date dedi.

Usne socha ki baad mein randi pe pressure dalwa ke cancel karwa dega, par bhen ki laudi maan ke nahin deti thi. Jab Tatti-day nazdeek aa gaya, Akbar ki gaand bahut zyaada phat gayi….usne us waqt Birbal ko yaad kiya.

Usne Birbal se kaha ki ab mughal sultanat ki izzat usi ke haath mein

hai. Birbal ne bhi Akbar ko promise kar diya ki chaahe use apni maa chudwaani pade, woh mughal sultanat ki izzat pe aanch nahin aane dega. Akbar bhi nischint ho gaya.

Finally Tatti-day aa gaya. Akbar to raat bhar so bhi nahin saka.

Bhenchod ki khud ki tatti band ho gayi. Subah -subah randi ne darbaar mein grand entrance maara. Kehne lagi, “Jahanpanah, main teen din se nahin hagi hoon… jaldi se raajgaddi pe haggi maarne ki vyawastha kijiye.”

Akbar ne phatti gaand ke saath Birbal ki taraf dekha. Birbal to bhen

ka lauda hasi has raha tha. Apni seat se khada hua aur bola, “Jamnabai, tumne tatti karne ki demand ki thi….so karo. Lekin agar ek boond bhi moot nikal aaya to yeh talwaar choot mein ghusa ke gaand se nikaal doonga….”

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..Randi ko samajh aa gaya ki is baar uska paala kisi andu pandu se

Nahin, Birbal se pada hai. Woh chupchaap uthi aur ghar chali gayi………

To bhaiyon yeh baat hai Akbar ke zamane ki….

Usne 9 chutiye lundoore paal rakhe the..

Popularly known as his 9 ratans…!!!

Birbal aur Tansen me bada Kaampeeteesan raha karta

tha…

EK din gusse me aake Tansen kehta hai ki ” Ab faisla

ho hi jaye ki kaun zyada bada betichod hai???? main shart marta hoon ki main Jodha bai ke mammey choos sakta hoon”

Birbal ki has has ke gaand me dard ho gaya… Kehta hai ki “Agar toone aisa kar diya to agle din bhari sabha me mai nangaa aaunga”…

Bas fir hona kya tha lag gayi shart…

Tansen gaya bazaar, sapere ke paas. kehta hai ki “Bhai, mujhe ek saanp chahiye, untrained aur bina zehar ke hona chahiye”.

Saanp khareed ke Tansen usko ghar pe training dena shuru karta hai. ek aadmi ka putla banake saanp

ko kehta hai ” BETA SAPPU uske tang pe kaat”. to sappu putle ke taang pe jake das leta hai…Aise hi training karte karte

sappu Tansen ka ishara dekh kar taang, haath gala ityadi ko dasna seekh jaata hai..

Jahan bhi Tansen ishara karta, Sappu waha das leta…Training karke sappu ab taiyar ho gaya Big Day ke liye…

Ab baat aisi thi ki Akbar aur Jodha bai har subah apne bageeche me sair ke liye nikalte the. agle din subah Tansen bhi apne sappu

ke saath bageeche me ja pahuncha…aur jhadiyon me chhip gaya…Jahaan panah aur begum ko aata dekh tansen ne sappu ko phat se nikalke zameen pe chhod diya aur ishara Jodha bai ke mammon ki taraf karke bola..

“BETA SAPPU dikha apna kamaal ja das le rani ke Mammon

ko….”Sappu phat se gaya, begum ki taang par chadh ke,mansal Jangho se gujerke chut ko par kar ke seedha ja pahunchta hai mammon ke beech vali khai me vaha se plan ke mutabik seedha left turn le ke chadh jata hai Top pe aur ek second mein saali ko das leta hai nipple pe…

Jodha chikhne lage” Are Mere randibaaj Akbar kuch ker

na”

Akbar to paagal ho gaya…”Arre bachao koi bachao meri begum ko saap ne das liya koi Bachoooo”

Tabhi Tansen nikla jhadiyon se, bhaag ke gaya aur bola “Jahan panah ek Upay hai mere paas rani sahebaan ko bachaneka.

Main agar zehar choos kar bahar nikal doon to aap gussa hokar meri gand to nahi katwa denge na?? Akbar bola Madar chod jo bhi

karna ho jaldi kar but

meri begum ko bacha le…phir kya tha Tansen ne phat se Jodha bai ko pakda, uske kapde Ranjit ki tarah fade aur mammey bahar nikal

kar chhosne

laga….aur poore ke poore choos dale…( Aur idher -udher haath bhi maar liye harami ne)

Birbal ne ye baat suni to uski gaand se maano Rocket guzar gaya…. man hi man sochne laga Bhenchod kal to lut gayee izzat, bhare darbaar me nang dhadang jaan padega….gaand lag gayi…Usne khoob socha, baal khujlaye (upar ke bhi neeche ke bhi) lekin no idea…Gaand jab khujayee to idea Lund ki tarah uchhal kar bahar aaya…

Agle din darbaar laga, Akbar ne sabke samne Tansen ki tareef ki aur kaha agar tansen me zehar choosne ki shakti nahi hoti to Jahan panah aaj randwe hote….aur akele apne aap hilaa rahe hote….

Tansen on other hand cud not wait for Birbal to make an appearance…khushi ke maare pagal ho raha tha ye soch kar ki jab Birbal bhare darbaar me nanga hokar aayega to Akbar ki gaand sharm se paani paani ho jayegi….YESSS….

wo birbal ke gaand pe itne hunter maarenge ki Birbal ki 7 pushte muh se hagegi….tabhi darbaar me hulchul machi…sabne dekha ki Birbal nanga hokar, apna lauda haath me pakde, dudta hua aa raha

hai… Bas phir hona kya tha Akbar ki gaand gusse se LAAL ho

gayi…bola “Birbal ye kya gustakhi hai???” teri himmat kaise hui aise nange aane ki??

Birbal bola “Haye Jahan panah mai mar gaya mujhe saap ne kaat liya …mere laude pe..”

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Akbar bola “Tansen ja choos Birbal ka lund “

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